I’m 17 years old and now just brought a guitar, how long til I learn to play?
I just had a go and bloody hell it was hard!
I don’t even know how to tune it. And my fingers hurt, I couldn’t even get the chords right 
Does this mean I’m not able to learn to play guitar?
You can learn to play the guitar, but you need to be a little bit patient. The hardest part of learning to play the guitar is in the first few months (Or week, depending on how often you’ll practice.).
I taught myself to play guitar and I’ve been playing for four years. I could play simple chords fluently (Simple chords being A, C, F, D, Am, E, Em, G, etc.) after about two months of trying. The beginning is the hardest, and it’ll be choppy and even a little painful while you’re waiting for your fingers to callus over. If you can overcome that, then guitar is suddenly much easier when it’s no longer painful. The trick is to keep practicing regularly and not let your fingers get soft again, or it’ll hurt again the next time you play.
Another thing about learning to play the guitar: if you have nails, clip them now. Long nails make it really difficult and sometimes nearly impossible to play guitar. This is always a problem for me because my nails grow like they’re trying to escape or something. I have to clip them pretty much once or sometimes twice a week just so I can play guitar.
Are you taking lessons? I learned through imitation, which is basically where if I heard a song I loved, I wanted to learn it myself. I picked up techniques along the way.
Good songs to start with would be…just about anything by Neutral Milk Hotel. Pretty much all of their songs are comprised of basic chords, but they still make them sound original.
I actually found that I could tune a guitar by ear before I even knew how to play guitar, thanks to my mother’s ex. The man had six guitars and I never heard him play anything once except to tune them. I heard that everyday, six times a day, and now it’s ingrained in my brain. Usually tuning a guitar by ear is something that takes years of practice to get right (Or so I’ve heard,) but you can start by going onto dogpile.com and searching for "guitar tuning" or something like that under the sound section, and you can probably find a file of someone plucking the strings on a tuned guitar so you can tune it to sound like theirs. Or you can buy a tuner. Standard tuning for a guitar is EADGBe.
In short, it takes time, but you can get it with enough practice and patience. There are tons of tutorials on YouTube, and ultimate-guitar.com is a great place to get tabs for most songs.
Good Luck! Happy playing. 